Coming Out Age: 40

Story:

I am the one who wrote the very long post on January 10, 2009. I am still caught up in this terrible lie. 
The fights with my husband have increased 10 fold. This emotional pain is draining me. I have visions of 
leaving him in 10 years when I am 50 and my kids are grown. This is going to be a slow ride. He is a VERY 
NEEDY man who loves me and I am emotionally moving away from him. This creates a very dysfunctional relationship. 
Oh, yes, not to mention that I am a lesbian in hiding. I know I'm doing a terrible thing to myself and to him. 
I wish I could just get the guts to leave him. I long for the touch, feel, sensation and the caress of a woman. 
I could only imagine that when two women touch, the end goal in mind is not ALWAYS sex (like a man), but just to 
get wrapped in each other's arms because it feels wonderful being with each other. I hate that it always has to 
end with sex when you're with a man. I am a fool for staying with him. Until next year.